I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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