Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
