in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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