Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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