1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
