u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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