Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
