Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
