i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
