I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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