i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
