How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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