i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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