Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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