my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
