It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
