I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
