We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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