she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
