lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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