I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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