So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize