So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
