did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
