i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
even my farts smell like vagina
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
