I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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