i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
