I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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