I will die if light touches me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
