My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
