Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
