She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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