I got chris browned last night
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
