we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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