Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
