You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
