Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
