Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
