i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
