And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
