I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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