other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
