Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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