no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
