and you said cock pushups were impossible
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
