whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
