Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
sex in a hospital.. check
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