it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
