I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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