Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
