Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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