I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
