When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
